1. President Donald Trump is not a target of the investigation, media declares this shows he is in big trouble now

—  Trump’s lawyers have told the president that Robert Mueller does not consider him a target, but does consider him a witness.

— In an attempt to make all news bad news, the media insists this is a brilliant Mueller trap to entice Trump to perjure himself, but the US Attorney’s manual says a target (which Trump is not) is someone the investigators have “substantial evidence” of wrongdoing.

2. Governor Bentley and his lover Rebekah Caldwell Mason walk with no charges or penalties

—  A grand jury has been impaneled for close to a year but has determined no additional charges will be filed in the Bentley/Mason case, they also want the Legislature to fix the state’s ethics laws.

— The investigators found that Bentley never personally profited, and Rebekah Caldwell Mason was never covered by ethics laws because she was just sleeping with him and was not married to him.

3. Arrested lawmaker Rep. Jack Williams insists he has done nothing wrong; he will continue to serve

— Williams’ statement reads, “I have done nothing wrong, and once the facts are presented, I expect to be found innocent.”

— It has been reported that his alleged crime may have included calling a public meeting on the bill State Rep. Micky Hammon wanted passed when Williams knew that “Trina Health had offered and given things of value”.

4. Trump will send the national guard to the border and continue building a border wall

— Just like presidents Obama and Bush, President Trump is activating the National Guard and sending them to the border.

— This comes after Trump told reporters, “We’re going to be doing things militarily. Until we can have a wall and proper security, we’re going to be guarding our border with the military.”

5. Maybe Gov. Kay Ivey doesn’t need to be involved in debates if she keeps raising money and dishing out burns

— Governor Ivey continues to face an onslaught of negative PR for passing on a series of GOP debates, but she is crushing her opponents in fundraising,  Ivey has $3.2 million which is $1 million more than any other candidate in the June Republican primary.

— When pressed on her debate schedule, Ivey’s campaign hit back, “Is Tommy Battle applying to be governor of Alabama, or campaign scheduler for Kay Ivey?”

6. Once again, cops knew about the YouTube shooter and her problems with YouTube

— San Bruno police said in a statement Nasim Najafi Aghdam did not know the victims she shot; she was a disgruntled user.

— After police contacted the family and told them that Aghdam had been found, her brother warned them that she might be going after the company and they did nothing.

7. Cambridge Analytica had access to the public data of 87 million people, but not private data

— Facebook announced that Cambridge Analytica might have used publicly available information from about 87 million Facebook users without the users’ knowledge; it was not private info.

— Worry away about this information while you continue to post your political opinion non-stop, check in everywhere you go, tell us your relationship status, and which Gilligan’s Island cast member you are.