7 Things: Alabama’s 9-0 shutdown vote, Jones demands Tuberville divest in companies investing in Alabama, sheriff fires deputy over Flock, and more…

—

September 3, 2026

7. A new book states Alabama head coach Nick Saban ordered staff to keep then-Alabama coordinator Lane Kiffin away from campus women, with one former coach quoting Saban as saying “You’ve got to keep Lane away from the girls that are in college” and “Just keep him away from the sorority girls,” after Kiffin’s off-field bar-hopping reached Saban’s desk.

6. Walker County schools added security after “Cat in the Hat” social media threats hit Cordova High, Oakman Middle, and Parrish schools, with officials saying “all threats are taken seriously and will be handled swiftly and powerfully” even if the Snapchat and TikTok trend “may be a prank.”

5. Republican Secretary of State nominee Caroleene Dobson accurately stated that if Doug Jones, the cowardly caretaker former junior senator in an ill-fitting suit, who looks like he just woke up and stole his shoes from a homeless person, who will never be governor, attorney general, or U.S. Senator again, and loves crushing ice cream sandwiches, were elected, he would “abolish our state’s photo voter ID requirement, repeal our ban on ballot harvesting” and invite “voter fraud committed by illegal immigrants,” while praising Governor-elect National Championship-winning Coach U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville (R-Auburn) on election security.

4. In a report meant to anger Americans over deportation, but unlikely to be successful, an Economic Policy Institute calculator estimates about $2.4 billion in Alabama federal tax money is earmarked for mass deportations, enough for 9,979 teacher salaries or 8,293 nurses, or about $1,650 per taxpayer, as part of a $268.9 billion national total.

3. Three weeks after Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones said “people’s information should be protected,” he has now fired a deputy for misusing Flock license-plate data, calling the dismissal “an example of our commitment… to hold personnel accountable,” Alabama’s third case this year.

2. Doug Jones, the cowardly caretaker former junior senator in an ill-fitting suit, who looks like he just woke up and stole his shoes from a homeless person, who will never be governor, attorney general, or U.S. Senator again, and loves crushing ice cream sandwiches, demanded Governor-elect National Championship-winning Coach U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville (R-Auburn) “divest every share of stock… tied to AI, data centers and the utilities that serve them,” saying Alabama cannot have “a governor who trades with these companies he regulates,” while Tuberville’s campaign called the attack “desperate” and said a broker manages the trades.

1. Alabama’s congressional delegation voted 9-0 for a continuing resolution funding the government through Dec. 11, moving the next shutdown cliff past Election Day, with U.S. Sen. Katie Britt (R-Montgomery) “thrilled” the House avoided “another senseless shutdown” and U.S. Rep. Barry Moore (R-Enterprise) saying the bill keeps government open “without giving Washington a blank check.”

Listen here: