Recommended Reading: Love Your Life, Not Theirs by Rachel Cruz
Personally, I’m thankful that Facebook wasn’t invented until my senior year of college. Adolescence was hard enough without having the added pressures of petty dramas played out online for all to see. That doesn’t mean that I’ve escaped the social media demons altogether though. While I may not succumb to drama in my mid-30s, I often have fell victim to what I call Facebook Envy.
Similar to Pinterest Peer Pressure, Facebook Envy is scrolling through one’s Facebook feed and seeing all the great accolades posted by others. It might be photos of the massive home a family member is building or a friend posing in front of the Magic Kingdom. Then there’s your super fit childhood friend posting pictures of herself at the beach holding a 6-month-old child. Surely, she couldn’t bounce back that fast!
Then come the thoughts. Wow, they must make a lot more than we do to afford a home like that. I bet that Magic Kingdom post is just a TimeHop photo. No, wait, look at the date. Did they go to Disney twice in one year? That can’t be her baby, but it says so in the comments. How come it took me 18 months just to get into pants that zip? And the list continues. Before you know it, you’ve wasted 30 minutes being nosy and worked yourself into a frenzy of envy.
As an avid reader and inherent “tightwad” (as my friends call it), I was excited to read a new book by Rachel Cruz, the daughter of Mr. Money Fixer himself, Dave Ramsey. The book is aptly titled Love Your Life, Not Theirs, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is prone to wallowing in Facebook Envy. She not only talks about how you shouldn’t compare yourself to others but also lays out why you shouldn’t do so.
One example in the book stood out clearly to me. Rachel had a school teacher friend whose family was struggling with finances. She noticed one day that this friend was wearing a pair of name brand yoga pants that could have cost somewhere between $60 and $100. Rachel told her husband how this woman didn’t need to waste her money on yoga pants, only to find out later that some of her students’ moms had bought them for her as a Christmas gift. Needless to say, Rachel felt awful.
Most of us have prejudged or made assumptions about the financial situations of others when in reality we don’t know everything. Just because someone owns a business doesn’t mean that person is wealthy, and just because someone lives in a small, older home doesn’t mean that he or she can’t have a large bank account. Appearances are surface-level only, especially when it comes to social media.
Think about it. How many people do you know who post unflattering profile pictures? Most likely, none. Even worse, there are many who spend a fair amount of time editing every photo before they post it. Most people are quick to share that trip to Fiji, but not so quick to share that they put it all on a credit card, which will take them years to pay off.
Facebook is like watching a highlight reel of a star athlete. Nobody wanting to play college football is going to put all their sacks in their HUDL highlight video. Instead, the reel is flooded with touchdown passes and long runs. Still, common sense tells us that while quarterbacks make winning passes, they also get sacked. If we step back when browsing on Facebook long enough to use common sense, we would realize it’s the same.
So, if you’re looking for encouragement on how to live the best life for your family and not worry about the lives of others, I suggest you read Love Your Life, Not Theirs. Rachel gives great insight from the perspective of a young wife, mother, and career woman who is trying to adult at finances without driving herself insane. And in case you’re putting yourself on a budget that doesn’t include reading materials, you can borrow my copy.
About the Author: Kaci Lane Hindman can best be described as an unconventional Southern Belle with a sarcastic sense of humor. She loves Alabama, writing, and writing about Alabama. She is married to the walking definition of a high-tech redneck, and they have two young children.
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