Subscription Preferences:

Feeling any Christmas guilt? Here’s the type you should ignore and the type you should face


(Pixabay)

 

 

 

Listen to the audio

Read the transcript:

TOM LAMPRECHT:  Harry, today, I want to take you to a blog piece written by Mary Sauer. She says, “I have Christmas-induced parental guilt and I don’t know what to do about it.”

In essence, in this piece, she talks about how Christmas can get a little materialistic. She talks about the fact that, when she was doing some online shopping, she said she felt guilty as she realized some children had nothing this Christmas.

She said she was overcome with guilt. “We have so much to be thankful for as Americans. Even the poorest among us have more than some people around other parts of the world.”

How would you respond to Mary’s “Christmas-induced parental guilt?”

DR. REEDER: Yeah, Mary Sauer is actually exhibiting what the original blog phenomena was all about, which was a stream-of-consciousness that was publicized, with her, “Christmas-induced parental guilt.”

Now, do I think there’s a reason for her to deal with this issue of guilt that she articulates? Here she is, buying toy after toy after toy and the stories are filled with children who don’t have anything at Christmas and they don’t have celebration of Christmas.

However, here’s where her statement is wrong: This isn’t Christmas-induced guilt. We always love to put our guilt away from us – we’ve got guilt and we are the victims of guilt and there’s something else that has brought this guilt.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FALSE AND TRUE GUILT

No, guilt is something that comes from sin. Now, that can be a false guilt that’s there, but there’s enough true guilt going around that you don’t need false guilt and people that have an ability to put you on “guilt trips.”

However, one of the things about true guilt – and I think there’s a place for this – our descent into mind-numbing consumerism as a culture that is never more manifested than at a moment like Christmas, in which we have actually made Christmas a GNP issue for our culture more than a celebration of a glorious event called the gift of God’s Son to us to save us from our sins.

And that’s where the gift-giving is supposed to come from – God gave His Son and His Son gave His life to give to us a gift of salvation so think of those three gifts as you approach Christmas.

No. 1 gift: God so loved the world that He gave His Son; No. 2 gift: God’s Son went to the cross and gave His life as a ransom for many, born into this world to save sinners from their sins with an atoning death at the cross; and then, No. 3, God’s Son now offers this gift to us if we will repent of our sins and put our trust in Him, die to ourselves and embrace Christ as Lord of Life and even our very life.

That has turned into things like gift-giving. The famous 4th century St. Nicholas, who would go around and give gifts to children, particularly needy children, and all of that coincided together.

And now what we have is a gift-giving enterprise and the elevation of gift-giving, but, in the secular Christmas, it is divorced from any meaning at all, except “Let’s pump the economy and let’s see what all I can give to my children in order to feel better about what I am not really giving them to that they need and in order to feel better about, perhaps, my neglect of them throughout the year,” kind of a penance act of all of this gift-giving.

That’s not Christmas that induced that on you – that’s your decision as to how you use Christmas.

SHOULD PARENTS FEEL GUILTY AT CHRISTMAS?

I would tell parents don’t feel guilty about giving gifts to your children. What you do need to feel guilty about is, No. 1, if Christmas has become a consumer event instead of a Christ event and, No. 2, if you have detached your gift-giving from the glorious gift of God’s Son and the articulation to your children, “Can I tell you why this gift is so glorious?”

Extravagant gifts are not bad, in and of themselves. There has never been a more extravagant gift than the gift of God’s Son. The Bible indicates that in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son.” You can’t get a more extravagant gift than has been given to us.

God has done much and given much to save you from your sins, but He didn’t do that to make much of you – He did that to set you free from making much of yourself and to know the joy of making much of Him. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever and the gift of God’s Son is what enables us to do that.

Therefore, I would tell Mary Sauer, “Mary, back off – not from gift giving, back off from its disconnect from the glorious gift of God’s Son, who gave Himself to give us eternal life. Not only connect it to that, but tell your children, “I’m giving these gifts to you as a statement of how much I love you, but there is a greater gift from One who loves you much greater than me and that is Jesus Christ, the Lord of Glory.’”

TOM LAMPRECHT: Harry, let me ask you about another issue, which parallels what we talked about today – it isn’t necessarily related to gift-giving – and that is depression during the holiday season.

WHY IT’S OKAY TO FEEL CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION

DR. REEDER: Yeah, that’s a great question, Tom. I think depression comes from two points. One is understandable – Christmases that have been rightly enjoyed and rightly embedded into our life with loved ones can become depressing times when those loved ones are not there. Now, maybe it’s physical separation because there are some in another location, but maybe it’s also because of a death and that’s understandable.

Again, the antidote is not to deny that depressive feeling, but to address it and to address it with the truth of eternal life in Jesus Christ.

I remember people telling me when my mom and dad died, “Well, you’ll get over it.” Well, actually, I didn’t want to get over it. There’s a little piece of that, “depression” that I think is good.

I’ll never forget when we were cleaning out clothes of my dad’s and my mom said to me, “Don’t move that coat. Leave that coat.” And I said, “Why?” and she said, “Because when I walk in the closet, I still smell him.”

There’s a sense that depression is an affirmation of the depth of a relationship that has been unnaturally broken by death, but now address that that God’s grace is glorious, and God has won the victory over death and our greatest days are always yet before us.

…BUT NOT THIS KIND OF CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION

Now, there can also be another depression that I want people to get liberated from, not in terms of the theological truth that we have great joy that we will have a family circle unbroken in all eternity, but there is another one in which you actually are looking to Christmas to be the savior and then you get depressed when it doesn’t deliver.

We build up Christmas that it’s going to be this great event that’s going to make my life meaningful as we get together, and party, and give gifts and everything and, all of a sudden, who turned the lights out? It’s over. And, by the way, I’m empty and it just never quite delivers.

I was in that circle before I became a Christian that Christmas parties were these raucous events that we were going to get together, and have this party time, and it was going to be meaningful and then you got in the car and you left and you said, “Okay, now what was that about?”

I remember, Tom, being at such an event and just thinking, “Is that all there is to this?” And that depression is a depression that God has sent to tell you what you think will save you – Christmas celebrations defined by the world – is empty.

It’s all vanity, but there is One who can fill you up with joy and overflow in you with love, love of God which gives worship and praise to Him and love of one another, whereby we share the Gospel with the lost and we encourage one another with the words of hope in Christ.

That depression is also a blessing because it’s showing you, you are building something into a Christmas that is nothing more than a fabrication.

THE REAL CHRISTMAS

You come to the real story. C.S. Lewis calls it “The True Myth.” Can you believe this? God has come to save us from our sins and when Jesus shows up, now life is springing evermore. Celebrate the birth of a Savior because, through His birth, you can be born again.

The One who came through the Virgin to save us from our sins, Emmanuel, God with us, can make you right with Him and live right within you and you can be born again. And, if you are born again, now you got a Christmas to celebrate. And use this moment to reach others as well, but give praise to your God.

Joy to the world, the Lord has come, the Lord is come – he’s at work in your life – and the Lord is coming again.

Dr. Harry L. Reeder III is the Senior Pastor of Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham.

This podcast was transcribed by Jessica Havin. Jessica is editorial assistant for Yellowhammer News. Jessica has transcribed some of the top podcasts in the country and her work has been featured in a New York Times Bestseller.

8 hours ago

Alabama apps: App2Talk helps nonverbal children communicate

As children grow they learn to communicate at first through sound and body movements before advancing to words and language.

But for children with nonverbal autism, communicating needs or wants can be more difficult.

A nonprofit in Alabama is working to help these children by developing a mobile app to assist with communication. Based in Mobile, Autism2Ability aims to develop programs for families with special-needs children.

Autism2Ability founder Ray Miller saw how these families needed tools to enable clearer communication, so the nonprofit partnered with an Apple developer and began building the new technology.

389

After years of development, App2Talk launched on the app market in November 2014 for a one-time cost of $99.99.

Miller said the hard work was well worth it given that 25 percent of children with autism don’t speak.

“I felt there was a call for me to do something – it was providential,” Miller said.

The app has many customizable pictures allowing words to be communicated visually when the child needs something.

For example, if a child wants popcorn, he or she presses the popcorn image on a smartphone or tablet and a voice says the image pressed, meaning parents and educators can hear the request.

Since its official launch, the app has evolved with each update.

Miller works with experts in various fields while developing updates for the app, including speech-language pathologists, occupational therapists and special-education teachers.

He said each update makes the app more robust and ensures the autistic community will get maximum usefulness while using App2Talk.

“These children are very smart people. A lot of them just need an outlet to show that off, so we try to make sure we give them the best one,” Miller said.

The three levels of learning on App2Talk – elementary, intermediate and advanced – give children an opportunity to grow and progress when communicating. The app also automatically tracks their progress, giving parents and educators an avenue to analyze what the child has mastered and what’s still difficult.

Educators like Jennifer Williams see positive feedback when using the app.

Williams is the behavior specialist manager at the Mobile County Public School System and uses the device when she’s working with kids. Because many behavioral problems are rooted in a lack of communication, she has used App2Talk to help bridge gaps with children undergoing struggles they can’t necessarily voice.

Williams said a child has also used the app to communicate while in pain.

“Throughout his childhood, the pain was indescribable. It was beyond words,” Williams said. “The child couldn’t tell anyone where he was hurting or how much the pain stung, and the frustration would lead to self-inflicted damage. App2Talk changed that.”

Using the app, the child selected pictures of the body parts in pain, and the parents were finally able to help the child.

“We know the need is there,” Miller said. “We just have to keep pushing, and keep helping out the kids because they’re our future.”

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)

10 hours ago

What’s in a name? ‘It Don’t Matter’

It don’t matter whether you’re on your way to the Gulf, or you’re a native Crenshaw Countian who loves a meat-and-three. The restaurant with the eye-catching name is sure to make you want to pull in.

The “It Don’t Matter” family restaurant in Highland Home, 27 miles south of Montgomery, has the best thing an eatery could have going for it besides good food: an unusual name and location, location, location. “It Don’t Matter” sits directly on U.S. Highway 331, the main drag from north Alabama to the Florida beaches at Destin, Fort Walton, Seaside and the western end of Panama City.

650

If you’re heading south, the restaurant is perched on the left on a hill as 331 slips in to Highland Home, an unincorporated town of 1,200 in the very northern edge of Crenshaw County and a stone’s throw from the Montgomery County line. Owner Pete Hayes is keenly aware he has a ready-made clientele of beach-goers driving in front of his daily breakfast; a lunch/dinner buffet of Southern-style meats and vegetables; a seafood buffet on Saturdays; and hand-cut steaks Friday and Saturday nights.

“I’ve had people come in and say, ‘We passed by and turned around and came back. We saw the name and all the cars and said let’s go back and try it,’” Hayes says.

But what they really want to know is where the restaurant got its funky name.

Hayes says it came from original owner John Faulk, a local homebuilder, who would respond, “It don’t matter” when his wife asked what he wanted for dinner every night. Faulk built the restaurant in 2000 on the site of an abandoned gas station that was long ago the site of Highland Home school.

The story of how Hayes acquired the 200-seat restaurant – and Hayes himself – is as interesting as the name.

He was a professional wrestler in the early 1980s alongside the likes of “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes and the “Fabulous Freebirds” Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy in the heyday of Georgia Championship Wrestling.  GCW, later called World Championship Wrestling (WCW), with popular announcer Gordon Solie, drew a national following coast-to-coast in the early days of Atlanta cable Superstation WTBS. Pete Hayes wrestled as Pete Martin in Atlanta and over the years wearing a mask as the Assassin, the Enforcer, Masked Superstar, Los Lobos and the Skull Master, with tag-team partner the Bone Crusher.

Hayes, 58, grew up in the nearby town of Panola. Other than his wrestling career, he has worked most of his life in kitchen maintenance for what has grown to 52 Montgomery County schools.

Every afternoon, Hayes makes the 27-mile trip to the restaurant to make sure everything is going well. His wife, Liz, helps manage, too.

His path to buying “It Don’t Matter” in 2005 wasn’t exactly in a straight line. His son, “Little Pete,” went there to work for Faulk as manager. When Faulk realized it was too much to run both the restaurant and his construction business, he shut down the restaurant, Hayes recalls.

Little Pete said he would manage the restaurant if his father bought and reopened it, which Hayes did. Little Pete, however, eventually went to nursing school, ending his management of “It Don’t Matter” and leaving his father with the restaurant.

Which didn’t matter to Hayes.

“I really like this business because I like talking to people,” Hayes said as one of the main reasons he kept the restaurant. He isn’t a silent owner. He is very visible, socializing with customers and helping replenish the buffet. He even cooks, with steaks his forte.

While the name of the restaurant is fun, and Hayes has plenty of it, things haven’t always been that way. In 2012, the restaurant burned to the ground in just a few hours after it was struck by lightning, taking 8 1/2 months to build back.

Hayes says he will likely retire from the Montgomery County school system in five years, but has no plans to retire from the restaurant business anytime soon. In fact, he recently opened his second restaurant – Front Porch Barbecue – at the Fort Deposit exit on Interstate 65 some 15 miles away.

“The biggest challenge in this business is to make your customers happy,” he says. “You may make 150 of them happy one night, and you make one mad, and they tell 1,000 people. So we try to put out the very best product we can and make people feel like they’re at home.

“It does matter to us if you enjoy it.”

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)

10 hours ago

VIDEO: Trump/Putin summit, Alabama campaigns go negative and lose, no hope, and more on Guerrilla Politics!

Radio talk show host Dale Jackson and Dr. Waymon Burke take you through this week’s biggest political stories, including:

— Did President Trump mess up the Vladimir Putin summit?

— Did Alabama candidates who went negative cost themselves their races?

— Is there any evidence a “blue wave” is ready to hit Alabama?

Candidate for Lieutenant Governor State Rep. Will Ainsworth joins Jackson and Burke to discuss his victory over Twinkle Cavanaugh and the upcoming general election.

Jackson closes the show with a “Parting Shot” directed at Twinkle Cavanaugh, who thinks a boat citation is an “arrest” worthy of an attack ad.

1
11 hours ago

5 ways Alabama researchers are taking on aerospace challenges

Universities across Alabama are helping to shape the future of the global aerospace industry.

From complex research projects to intensive training for future pilots and engineers, these institutions are making a significant impact on the journey to conquer skies and space.

As global aerospace industry leaders gather at the 2018 Farnborough International Airshow, it’s time to take a look at five interesting projects happening inside labs and classrooms across the state:

1032

‘MARSBEES’

An assistant engineering professor at the University of Alabama in Huntsville recently received a 2018 NASA Innovative Advanced Concepts (NIAC) Award for his proposal involving robotic bumble-bee-sized flapping-winged fliers to aid in the exploration of Mars.

Dr. Chang-kwon Kang is collaborating on the project with other researchers at UAH, as well as those from George Washington University and the Tokyo University of Science. The proposal features the Marsbee, whose large cicada-like wings have the ability to hover in the Martian atmosphere. It’s also equipped with sensors and wireless communication devices.

“Flying on Mars is challenging because of the ultra-low density in the Martian atmosphere. Our preliminary work shows that bio-inspired aerodynamic mechanisms can help in generating sufficient lift to fly on Mars,” Kang said.

“One of our main goals for the first phase is to experimentally demonstrate that these Marsbees can lift off their own weight in Martian density conditions in the vacuum chamber of UAH’s Propulsion Research Center.”

He said the long-term goal is to develop swarms of Marsbees that can help with the human exploration on Mars.

Kang’s proposal was one of only 25 selected to receive an award from the NIAC program, which invests in early-stage technology with the potential to revolutionize future space exploration. It provides up to $125,000 in funding over nine months to award winners, and the concepts that succeed in feasibility testing are eligible for Phase II awards.

RFID TECH RESEARCH

 At Auburn University, the new Delta Air Lines Aviation Education Building is expected to open this fall.

The 23,000-square-foot facility, funded with a $6.2 million gift from Delta Air Lines, the Delta Air Lines Foundation and the Jacobson Family Foundation, is the first building designed exclusively for aviation education at Auburn.

It will include more room for growing enrollment and class offerings, as well as state-of-the-art flight simulators, technology-equipped classrooms and faculty offices and workspace.

The gift is also supporting the university’s Radio-Frequency Identification (RFID) lab, where scientists conduct research on how specialized sensor technologies can affect a variety of industries. For aviation in particular, such technology is useful in maintenance and safety history, tracking passenger baggage and making air travel safer and more efficient overall.

Also benefiting from the gift is Emerge, a student leadership program at Auburn that hosts monthly speakers focused on values, vision and teamwork.

Auburn’s Department of Aviation is home to one of the longest-standing public flight programs in the U.S.

“We know firsthand how capable Auburn graduates are and look forward to a future with Auburn in which truly, the sky is the limit,” said Paul Jacobson, Delta’s executive vice president and chief financial officer, trustee with the Delta Air Lines Foundation and chair of the Jacobson Family Foundation.

SPACE STATION FREEZERS

A research group at the University of Alabama at Birmingham designs and builds freezers that play key roles in experiments conducted on the International Space Station.

A multi-year contract between NASA and the UAB Engineering Innovation and Technology Development (EITD) research group was recently doubled, giving the group a $50 million cap on work to provide and maintain these cold-stowage units for the ISS.

The freezers are capable of maintaining temperatures as low as negative 160 degrees Celsius, and each line meets specific cold-stowage demands. They are used to store scientific samples and serve as galley refrigerator/freezers for the ISS crew.

The group also monitors the units from its Remote Operations Command Center on the UAB campus.

EITD is comprised of nearly 40 engineers and technicians and led by Dr. Lee Moradi, a UAB engineering professor.

“These contracts are evidence of the quality of personnel we have in our group,” Moradi said. “Our engineers and technicians have an impeccable reputation that has been built over decades, and we have been able to recruit extremely talented young engineers and software developers, including several top UAB students, both graduate and undergraduate.”

ELECTRIC SPACE SAILS

University of South Alabama researcher is studying a form of propulsion that would revolutionize deep space missions.

Dr. Carlos Montalvo, an assistant engineering professor, is conducting research on the electric sail, or E-Sail, which has major implications for aerospace.

“The Electric Sail is a relatively new concept of advanced in-space propulsion,” Montalvo said. “This technology has the potential to provide propellant-less propulsion throughout the solar system. An electric sail deploys multiple long (20 km) tethers that are positively charged. The solar wind interacts with the tethers to provide propulsion.”

Based on the E-Sail’s characteristic acceleration, it can reach the heliopause region, the boundary marking the end of the sun’s influence, in 10 years. By comparison, the characteristic acceleration of a solar sail puts it in the heliopause region in 20 years, while chemical rockets take 24 years.

“The only spacecraft to reach the heliopause region is the Voyager 1 and 2 spacecraft, which reached the heliopause region in 36 years,” Montalvo said. “The increase in performance from a solar sail to an E-Sail lies in the growing sheath width of the electric sail, which grows with distance from the sun.”

E-sails provide a new way for small spacecraft to be used for deep space missions.

“This has never been done before. It would pave the way for small secondary payloads to reach uncharted territories of our universe,” Montalvo said.

TRAINING THE FUTURE WORKFORCE

Tuskegee University’s Aerospace Science Engineering Department is focused on sparking an interest in STEM activities among local students, using the power of flight.

Along with the university’s Mathematics Department, Aerospace Science Engineering hosts a weeklong summer camp, “Fly High Your Math and Science Skills,” for Macon County middle school students.

One of the program’s highlights for the students is flying various missions on a flight simulator.

“The simulator is a favorite for students – it provides hands-on experience and allows us to better connect math and science concepts for them,” said Dr. Javed Khan, head of the Aerospace Science Engineering Department.

The activities also teach critical thinking, problem-solving, collaboration and communication skills. In addition, middle school teachers receive science and mathematics education training.

The project is funded by the Innovative Technology Experiences for Students and Teachers (ITEST) program of the National Science Foundation (NSF).

“This is the second year for the program, and it continues to be an outstanding learning opportunity that will greatly benefit teachers and students alike, as well as prepare students for career opportunities in the STEM fields,” Khan added.

(Courtesy of Made in Alabama)

Public contributes ideas for new Birmingham downtown linear park

Dozens of individuals, plus representatives from local businesses, public agencies and nonprofits expressed themselves Tuesday about what should be in the mix of amenities and activities at a proposed linear park in downtown Birmingham.
Officials with the Alabama Department of Transportation (ALDOT) and the City of Birmingham kicked off the first of multiple public sessions aimed at crafting a unique, 31-acre, 10-block-long public space that will live underneath a rebuilt elevated section of Interstate 59/20.

“We want to do something special,” Brandon Johnson, the city’s director of Community Engagement, told the crowd at Boutwell Municipal Auditorium.

449

“We want your input. We value your ideas,” said DeJarvis Leonard, ALDOT region engineer.

Dubbed CityWalk BHAM, the public space, running from 15th Street to 25th Street North, near the Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex, is scheduled to be completed in time for The World Games coming to Birmingham in summer 2021.

“The World Games is a magnificent opportunity for the city, and we think this project can be a welcomed attraction for visitors and natives of Birmingham alike, come 2021,” Leonard said.

Ben Donsky, vice president of  Biederman Redevelopment Ventures, told the audience at the start of the first public session that the project is an opportunity to create a unique public space that offers an enormous variety of activities and programming, serving different audiences at different times of the day. One of the project consultants, Biederman has helped design or redevelop numerous public spaces around the country, including Bryant Park in New York City, Salesforce Park in San Francisco and Canalside in Buffalo, New York.

“We want to build something that is sustainable, that will be treasured for generations,” Donsky said.

Participants in the first session moved among six viewing stations, where they could examine conceptual images of different activities and elements that could be incorporated into CityWalk. They ranged from skateboarding to walking paths and playgrounds, a dog park, a farmers’ market, cafés and music stages.

Donsky said programming at CityWalk also could range broadly, from exercise classes for seniors, to art and music events for adults and children, to food stalls for downtown workers on their lunch hour. “We want to have lots of variety,” he said.

“We think this could be an economic generator for the city and a regional attraction … from every demographic and every age level,” Donsky added.

Participants could mark their preferences among the many images spread on the tables – or suggest their own ideas.

Donsky said few cities have created public spaces of this proposed magnitude underneath a rebuilt highway. “It’s really groundbreaking.”

A comprehensive price tag for the project hasn’t been finalized, but an estimated $15 million to $20 million is expected to be available from state and federal transportation coffers for construction. Officials hope to add to that amount with local support, along with corporate and philanthropic dollars that could help to provide resources for ongoing events and programming.

In addition to the three public sessions held Tuesday at Boutwell, a second round is set for July 24 at the Birmingham Crossplex. Additional public meetings also could be scheduled. More information is available at a new website, http://citywalkbham.com/, and a new Facebook page, where additional details are expected to be shared from the public sessions.

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)