Feeling any Christmas guilt? Here’s the type you should ignore and the type you should face


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TOM LAMPRECHT:  Harry, today, I want to take you to a blog piece written by Mary Sauer. She says, “I have Christmas-induced parental guilt and I don’t know what to do about it.”

In essence, in this piece, she talks about how Christmas can get a little materialistic. She talks about the fact that, when she was doing some online shopping, she said she felt guilty as she realized some children had nothing this Christmas.

She said she was overcome with guilt. “We have so much to be thankful for as Americans. Even the poorest among us have more than some people around other parts of the world.”

How would you respond to Mary’s “Christmas-induced parental guilt?”

DR. REEDER: Yeah, Mary Sauer is actually exhibiting what the original blog phenomena was all about, which was a stream-of-consciousness that was publicized, with her, “Christmas-induced parental guilt.”

Now, do I think there’s a reason for her to deal with this issue of guilt that she articulates? Here she is, buying toy after toy after toy and the stories are filled with children who don’t have anything at Christmas and they don’t have celebration of Christmas.

However, here’s where her statement is wrong: This isn’t Christmas-induced guilt. We always love to put our guilt away from us – we’ve got guilt and we are the victims of guilt and there’s something else that has brought this guilt.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FALSE AND TRUE GUILT

No, guilt is something that comes from sin. Now, that can be a false guilt that’s there, but there’s enough true guilt going around that you don’t need false guilt and people that have an ability to put you on “guilt trips.”

However, one of the things about true guilt – and I think there’s a place for this – our descent into mind-numbing consumerism as a culture that is never more manifested than at a moment like Christmas, in which we have actually made Christmas a GNP issue for our culture more than a celebration of a glorious event called the gift of God’s Son to us to save us from our sins.

And that’s where the gift-giving is supposed to come from – God gave His Son and His Son gave His life to give to us a gift of salvation so think of those three gifts as you approach Christmas.

No. 1 gift: God so loved the world that He gave His Son; No. 2 gift: God’s Son went to the cross and gave His life as a ransom for many, born into this world to save sinners from their sins with an atoning death at the cross; and then, No. 3, God’s Son now offers this gift to us if we will repent of our sins and put our trust in Him, die to ourselves and embrace Christ as Lord of Life and even our very life.

That has turned into things like gift-giving. The famous 4th century St. Nicholas, who would go around and give gifts to children, particularly needy children, and all of that coincided together.

And now what we have is a gift-giving enterprise and the elevation of gift-giving, but, in the secular Christmas, it is divorced from any meaning at all, except “Let’s pump the economy and let’s see what all I can give to my children in order to feel better about what I am not really giving them to that they need and in order to feel better about, perhaps, my neglect of them throughout the year,” kind of a penance act of all of this gift-giving.

That’s not Christmas that induced that on you – that’s your decision as to how you use Christmas.

SHOULD PARENTS FEEL GUILTY AT CHRISTMAS?

I would tell parents don’t feel guilty about giving gifts to your children. What you do need to feel guilty about is, No. 1, if Christmas has become a consumer event instead of a Christ event and, No. 2, if you have detached your gift-giving from the glorious gift of God’s Son and the articulation to your children, “Can I tell you why this gift is so glorious?”

Extravagant gifts are not bad, in and of themselves. There has never been a more extravagant gift than the gift of God’s Son. The Bible indicates that in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son.” You can’t get a more extravagant gift than has been given to us.

God has done much and given much to save you from your sins, but He didn’t do that to make much of you – He did that to set you free from making much of yourself and to know the joy of making much of Him. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever and the gift of God’s Son is what enables us to do that.

Therefore, I would tell Mary Sauer, “Mary, back off – not from gift giving, back off from its disconnect from the glorious gift of God’s Son, who gave Himself to give us eternal life. Not only connect it to that, but tell your children, “I’m giving these gifts to you as a statement of how much I love you, but there is a greater gift from One who loves you much greater than me and that is Jesus Christ, the Lord of Glory.’”

TOM LAMPRECHT: Harry, let me ask you about another issue, which parallels what we talked about today – it isn’t necessarily related to gift-giving – and that is depression during the holiday season.

WHY IT’S OKAY TO FEEL CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION

DR. REEDER: Yeah, that’s a great question, Tom. I think depression comes from two points. One is understandable – Christmases that have been rightly enjoyed and rightly embedded into our life with loved ones can become depressing times when those loved ones are not there. Now, maybe it’s physical separation because there are some in another location, but maybe it’s also because of a death and that’s understandable.

Again, the antidote is not to deny that depressive feeling, but to address it and to address it with the truth of eternal life in Jesus Christ.

I remember people telling me when my mom and dad died, “Well, you’ll get over it.” Well, actually, I didn’t want to get over it. There’s a little piece of that, “depression” that I think is good.

I’ll never forget when we were cleaning out clothes of my dad’s and my mom said to me, “Don’t move that coat. Leave that coat.” And I said, “Why?” and she said, “Because when I walk in the closet, I still smell him.”

There’s a sense that depression is an affirmation of the depth of a relationship that has been unnaturally broken by death, but now address that that God’s grace is glorious, and God has won the victory over death and our greatest days are always yet before us.

…BUT NOT THIS KIND OF CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION

Now, there can also be another depression that I want people to get liberated from, not in terms of the theological truth that we have great joy that we will have a family circle unbroken in all eternity, but there is another one in which you actually are looking to Christmas to be the savior and then you get depressed when it doesn’t deliver.

We build up Christmas that it’s going to be this great event that’s going to make my life meaningful as we get together, and party, and give gifts and everything and, all of a sudden, who turned the lights out? It’s over. And, by the way, I’m empty and it just never quite delivers.

I was in that circle before I became a Christian that Christmas parties were these raucous events that we were going to get together, and have this party time, and it was going to be meaningful and then you got in the car and you left and you said, “Okay, now what was that about?”

I remember, Tom, being at such an event and just thinking, “Is that all there is to this?” And that depression is a depression that God has sent to tell you what you think will save you – Christmas celebrations defined by the world – is empty.

It’s all vanity, but there is One who can fill you up with joy and overflow in you with love, love of God which gives worship and praise to Him and love of one another, whereby we share the Gospel with the lost and we encourage one another with the words of hope in Christ.

That depression is also a blessing because it’s showing you, you are building something into a Christmas that is nothing more than a fabrication.

THE REAL CHRISTMAS

You come to the real story. C.S. Lewis calls it “The True Myth.” Can you believe this? God has come to save us from our sins and when Jesus shows up, now life is springing evermore. Celebrate the birth of a Savior because, through His birth, you can be born again.

The One who came through the Virgin to save us from our sins, Emmanuel, God with us, can make you right with Him and live right within you and you can be born again. And, if you are born again, now you got a Christmas to celebrate. And use this moment to reach others as well, but give praise to your God.

Joy to the world, the Lord has come, the Lord is come – he’s at work in your life – and the Lord is coming again.

Dr. Harry L. Reeder III is the Senior Pastor of Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham.

This podcast was transcribed by Jessica Havin. Jessica is editorial assistant for Yellowhammer News. Jessica has transcribed some of the top podcasts in the country and her work has been featured in a New York Times Bestseller.

4 mins ago

‘Disgrace’: Six American flags stolen from Brookwood’s veterans memorial park

The sleepy Tuscaloosa County town of Brookwood is “outraged” after the brazen theft of six American flags from its veterans memorial park, according to reports.

Per CBS 42, the flags were stolen over the weekend.

Two suspects were spotted on video surveillance. The individuals are believed to be juveniles and are still at large. While local police encourage the two suspects to turn themselves in, the town is offering an $800 reward for information that helps catch the perpetrators.

The reaction from town residents and officials was swift, with the stolen flags being replaced on Monday.

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“It was immediate outrage from the community as soon as the word started spreading.  People were outraged that somebody would show the lack of respect for our town and for our flags,” park director Bill Squires told CBS 42.

“And this being our Brookwood veterans memorial, you feel like its a slap in the face of the men whose names are on that memorial, too,” he added.

Just days away from Independence Day, July 4, locals who are used to seeing the flags fly proudly at their community park shared their emotional reactions.

Austin Rico, a frequent jogger at the park, remarked, “It absolutely horrible and I wouldn’t expect this from a nice little town like Brookwood. And it hurts me a little bit because it’s the American flag and it’s everything Americans represent.”

Gregory Vaughn, who reportedly passes the monument often when going for walks, told WBRC that the theft made him angry.

“It’s a disgrace. Stealing an American flag. I mean it doesn’t make any sense,” Vaughn decried.

Watch:

Squires, speaking on the possibility of the perpetrators being juveniles, commented, “Maybe kids being kids. But stealing? If it is, we need to teach them … how the flag needs to be respected.”

Anyone with information relating to the crime should contact the Brookwood Police Department.

Sean Ross is a staff writer for Yellowhammer News. You can follow him on Twitter @sean_yhn

13 hours ago

University of North Alabama adopting new tuition plan

The University of North Alabama is switching to a tuition plan that officials say will result in increased costs for some students but not others.

Officials at the school in Florence say they are reducing the total number of student fees from seven to one, and fees will be included in the overall tuition cost.

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A statement says students taking 15 hours will see a maximum increase in expenses of 4.1%.

But some could pay less, and costs will not change for others.

School officials say a lag in state funding is a continuing problem.

North Alabama’s vice president for business, Evan Thornton, says the school has deferred maintenance and capital needs totaling more than $160 million.

The school has an undergraduate enrollment of about 6,200 students.
(Associated Press, copyright 2018)

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13 hours ago

Nathan Lindsay joining governor’s office from BCA

Another high profile staffer from the Business Council of Alabama (BCA) is joining Governor Kay Ivey’s senior level team.

The governor on Monday announced that Nathan Lindsay will join her office as director of appointments effective July 1.

This position is charged with spearheading the meticulous work that goes into Ivey meeting her duty to appoint qualified, representative and appropriate people to positions on the state’s various boards and commissions.

A press release from the governor’s office outlined that Lindsay assumes the role with an extensive background in state government and the private sector, which uniquely qualifies him to advise the governor in this capacity.

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Most recently, through his work in political and governmental affairs at the BCA, Lindsay interacted with members of the business community throughout the Yellowhammer State, which significantly adds to his ability to identify and select candidates for various appointed posts.

Additionally, Lindsay’s early career included time in then-Governor Bob Riley’s office where he served as aide to the governor from 2006 to 2011. Lindsay also worked in the governor’s communications office as deputy press secretary and advised Riley on education policy.

“Nathan brings to our team a wealth of knowledge that I know will serve the state well,” Ivey said in a statement. “In addition to his expertise and insight, Nathan is a man of character. The men and women of my staff must have a strong work ethic, a depth of knowledge and a heart for public service. Nathan certainly embodies all of these characteristics.”

Lindsay earned his bachelor’s degree from Faulkner University. During his time at Faulkner, he served as SGA president and later, in 2018, he was awarded the Distinguished Alumni Award for the College of Arts and Sciences.

“As governor, I have the important responsibility of appointing qualified individuals to serve on the more than 450 boards and commissions in our state. These men and women must not only be highly-qualified, but they should also be a true reflection of our great state,” Ivey added. “I am confident we will continue to find the best people to serve our state, just as I am certain Nathan will serve my Administration exceptionally well in this position. His experience speaks for itself, and he shares my goal of moving Alabama into a better future.”

This comes weeks after Leah Garner departed BCA to become Ivey’s communications director.

Mark Colson also left BCA to become head of the Alabama Trucking Association recently.

Update 5:55 p.m.:

BCA President and CEO Katie Boyd Britt released a statement commending Ivey on the hire of Lindsay.

“Nathan’s background and expertise in political affairs combined with his political acumen uniquely qualify him to serve the governor and the state in this capacity,” Britt said. “I have no doubt Nathan will do an outstanding job, and I commend Governor Kay Ivey on this excellent addition to her staff.”

Sean Ross is a staff writer for Yellowhammer News. You can follow him on Twitter @sean_yhn

13 hours ago

Alabama listed as one of the top 20 most patriotic states in America

A WalletHub report released Monday revealed Alabama to be on of the top 20 most patriotic states in America.

Ranked 19 overall on the list, with a score of 47.43, Alabama ranked first for the “Civics Education Requirement.”

The report “compared the 50 states across 13 key indicators of patriotism” and “ranges from share of enlisted military population to share of adults who voted in the 2016 presidential election to AmeriCorps volunteers per capita.”

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With one as “Most Patriotic” and 25 as “Average,” Alabama received the following rankings:

  • 5th – Average Number of Military Enlistees per 1,000 Civilian Adults
  • 30th – Active-Duty Military Personnel per 100,000 Civilian Adults
  • 17th – Veterans per 1,000 Civilian Adults
  • 1st – Civics Education Requirement
  • 12th – Share of Civilian Adult Population in Military Reserves
  • 10th – Share of Adults Who Voted in 2016 Primary Elections

Alabama also ranked eight overall for ‘Military Engagement.’

The report, which compared red states to blue states in terms of patriotism, found that red states were more patriotic. Red states received an average rank of 23.67, while blue states received an average rank of 28.25.

Kyle Morris also contributes daily to Breitbart News. You can follow him on Twitter @RealKyleMorris.

14 hours ago

Brooks: ‘Really dumb’ for Democrats to elect candidates mainly on ‘skin pigmentation or their chromosomes’

In an interview on WVNN’s “The Dale Jackson Show”on Friday, Congressman Mo Brooks (AL-05) lamented that many Democrats have become more interested in racial and gender identity politics than the welfare of America.

Coming off of her much maligned comments comparing American immigration facilities to “concentration camps,” host Dale Jackson asked the north Alabama congressman if he believes that Democrats in Congress will allow Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) to continue to serve as their “de facto face and leader.”

“Yes,” Brooks answered succinctly, promoting a follow-up request for his reasoning.

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“Well, she is where she is,” Brooks explained. “She’s got a lot of political power. She’s got a lot of support — surprisingly.”

“There are large, large numbers of American citizens who have bit off on this socialist stuff, who have bit off on this victimization stuff, who have bit off on thinking that the most important criteria in determining whether to elect someone is their skin pigmentation or their chromosomes — which is really dumb, OK,” he continued. “We oughta be electing people based on their character and based on their public policy positions.”

“But, notwithstanding that, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has become the face of the Democratic Party in many different respects, and she does have great influence as evidenced by the presidential candidates on the socialist Democrats’ side who are trying to cultivate her support,” Brooks added. “They want her endorsement.”

Listen, starting at the 8:25 mark:

Sean Ross is a staff writer for Yellowhammer News. You can follow him on Twitter @sean_yhn