‘Mondays for Moms’: A mother’s love

The following is the second edition of Mondays for Moms:

A mother’s love

Years before I had children, I attended a mother-daughter event with my own mom. The speaker encouraged the audience to share with one another how we felt our mother’s love. The moments that followed transformed my views of motherhood in a meaningful way.

A shorter, confident girl rose to her feet in the back left of the room.

She looked her mom in the eyes and said, “I love that my mom never discussed her appearance in front of me. She never complained that her dress didn’t fit or that her skin looked dull or that her hips were too fluffy. I’m sure she had insecurities, but I was fortunate to never witness them. She always spoke positively about how she looked and how I did as well – not to boast of our beauty, but to instill a healthy level of confidence that I never knew I would so desperately need once living a day of two in the ‘real world.’ Because of her example, I’ve never given much thought to my appearance. I’m thankful for how God created me because I never knew there was any other way to think. Thank you, mom, for teaching me to love myself exactly the way I was created.”

Cue all the tears.

You could hear a pin drop. Suddenly, the room erupted into a wave of “awwws” mixed with sniffles and applause. After the magnitude of this girl’s message hit us, a few moms embraced their daughters sobbing audibly. How convicting, yet inspiring all at the same time.

This was a profound moment for every woman in the room because, possibly for the first time, we discovered how profound the words we hear affect the emotions we experience.

We’ve heard all the age-old adages such as “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” and “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all,” but this concept our friend in the back of the auditorium shared seemed ground-breaking.

The world is cruel. Social media tears our children down day in and day out. Record levels of children are suffering from bouts of bullying at school. A healthy level of confidence instilled and reinforced at home is the most important starting point for protecting the hearts of our sweet children.

What we say about ourselves in front of our children becomes the internal dialogue speaking to them in their minds. If we are constantly lamenting the lack of tone in our thighs or the saggy circles under our eyes, how can we expect our children not to worry about those same things? I certainly don’t always get it right, but ten years ago that girl from California taught me that words matter. Maybe we should stop asking if our bottoms look good in our mom jeans, and start sharing stories of kindness, bravery and empathy.

Our children may not always listen, but they are always watching.

Erin Brown Hollis is Yellowhammer’s lifestyle contributor and host of Yellowhammer Podcast Network’s “Cheers to That” podcast. An author, speaker, lawyer, wife and mother of two, she invites you to grab a cup as she toasts the good in life, love and motherhood. Follow Erin on Instagram ErinBrownHollis or Twitter @ErinBrownHollis