A Tuscaloosa pastor is drawing attention for a message of faith, resilience and reflection following the loss of his wife earlier this year.

Pastor Billy Joy of Valley View Baptist Church shared what he calls “7 Rules for Life as You Get Older” after the death of his wife, Mary Jacque Joy, on Valentine’s Day, following her battle with multiple sclerosis.

In a personal post, Joy described the loss as a moment that brought clarity about life, aging and faith.

“With the death of my wife on Valentine’s Day this year, God has been speaking loud and clear to my heart, ‘So… this is the beginning of the final stretch,’” Joy wrote.

The longtime pastor said the experience led him to reflect on priorities such as health, family, stewardship and spiritual purpose, ultimately outlining seven guiding principles for the years ahead.

Below are the rules as shared by Joy:

Rule 1: Be wise with money, but trust the Lord—not wealth.

Love your children.

Bless them.

Pray for them.

But don’t make them your retirement plan.

Save what you can. Plan wisely. Give generously. Financial independence preserves dignity—but faith reminds us where true security comes from.

Rule 2: Your health is part of your calling.

Work to strengthen yourself to remain independent as long as possible. If your body refuses to cooperate, everything else becomes harder. Move. Walk. Stretch. Sleep.

Eat cleaner. Stop digging your grave with a fork.

You don’t do this out of vanity— you do it so you can keep serving, loving, and showing up. Your body is a vessel. Honor it.

Rule 3: Create joy—and root it in gratitude.

Waiting for others to make you happy leads to disappointment. So you learn to notice the gifts:

A quiet morning.

Cherish new, God-given relationships as a gift.

Scripture that settles the soul.

Music that lifts the spirit.

When your joy comes from the Lord, loneliness loses its grip.

Rule 4: Aging is not permission to give up.

Some people turn aging into a habit of complaints.

Over time, even those who love them drift away.

Strength is attractive.

Resilience is inspiring.

Capability honors God.

Exercise. Stay engaged. Stay useful.

Rule 5: Release the past. The good old days were beautiful—but they are gone.

Clinging to them steals today.

God is not finished creating moments worth living.

There is still purpose here.

Rule 6: Guard your peace fiercely.

Not every argument needs your voice.

Not every opinion needs your energy.

Not every relationship deserves access to your heart.

Peace is precious. Protect it—from drama, bitterness, and emotional chaos.

Peace makes room for the Lord’s presence.

Rule 7: Keep learning, growing, and serving.

The day you stop learning is the day you start shrinking.

Learn something new.

Try something different.

Move your mind and body.

Growth honors God.

Stagnation dulls the spirit.

Joy emphasized that the lessons were shaped not only by grief, but by a renewed sense of purpose rooted in faith.

“I am still here for a reason,” he wrote, encouraging others to “lean on the Lord,” steward their lives well and continue serving with what they have.

Time stands still for no one. As people age, that reality becomes more evident in the way they look, feel and view the future. But Joy’s message points to the belief that the future can still be fulfilling and bright, even after loss, when it is anchored in faith, gratitude and a willingness to keep serving.

Sherri Blevins is a staff writer for Yellowhammer News. You may contact her at [email protected].