Reflections: Lessons from ‘divided’ families and the modern church

I talked with her lately and she told me, good-naturedly, about her “divided” family.

“I’m Episcopalian, and I married a Pentecostal,” she said.

There’s nothing wrong with this. I’ve known several “divided” families who made it work. I think the main thing to consider is the children, whether they’re in dad’s church or mom’s church.

The most unique blend I ever knew was when Aaron and Sarah showed up at our Baptist church. They made a point to ask me if they were welcomed. Then Aaron explained, “I’m Jewish, and Sarah is Catholic, so we thought we’d compromise and attend the Baptist church.”

I told them they were welcomed, of course, as is everybody, and I understood. But I really didn’t understand. Their compromise didn’t seem to make sense, but they made themselves at home with us, sitting on the front row, unlike the natives.

I remember the Christmas season I had with them before we were called to another place. The familiar Christmas stories took on new and different meaning as I studied and preached about the Old Testament roots of Bethlehem.

My mother and her only sister had a divided relationship as adults. My aunt became a Nazarene. We visited the family when I was a boy and attended a revival meeting at her church. My aunt ran down the aisle, raising her hands to God and shouting about how good he was to her. I was a little Baptist boy and had never seen worship like this. Not to question her sincerity at all because she was sincere. She also had the only prayer closet I’d ever seen since she took seriously the command of Jesus not to pray in public but to pray in your closet.

The modern church has something of a divided relationship these days. Studies show worship in many places is more expressive with the raising of hands and movement. I’ve always suggested that worshippers be attuned with God and worship as he leads, and this is fine unless it becomes disruptive.

And some like the old hymns and some like the new choruses. The only way I know to deal with this is to blend them together in a reverential way.

And some like their pastors in suits and some don’t care.

I was radical a few weeks ago when I wore a blue button-down instead of a white pinpoint shirt. The roof didn’t fall in, and someone noticed and pronounced it a nice change. So, I went and bought another blue shirt.

Whatever our divisions, we must seek to live in harmony with others.

A song from the 70s “Jesus Movement” reminds us, “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

“Reflections” is a weekly faith column written by Michael J. Brooks, pastor of the Siluria Baptist Church, Alabaster, Alabama. The church’s website is siluriabaptist.com.