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Reeder: It is ‘absolutely ludicrous’ to think a mother’s absence in crucial first 3 years has no effect



 

 

 

 

 

 

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Read the transcript:

TOM LAMPRECHT:  Harry, I want to take you to a story which our friends over at BreakPoint have also covered. There is a new book called “Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters.”

It’s written by a New York psychoanalyst by the name of Erica Komisar. She has some interesting statistics and some of them are rather alarming, including, she says, the number of kids hospitalized for eating disorders have increased 119 percent in the last decade and she points to the fact that mothers are absent.

DR. REEDER: She also goes into some of the areas of, “behavioral disorders.” She goes into the unbelievable rise of suicide among teenagers. The statistics are startling.

Clearly, from her guild of being a psychoanalyst, she has amassed this analysis that has taken place over decades and she finally has just come out, “Look, I’m just going to tell you the truth. Particularly, the first three years, the mother has to be there. She just has to be there,” with the full realization that, in our culture today, it is unbelievable.

This is my opinion, here at this point – she doesn’t say this – but I believe the tax structure in our government to support a bloated and runaway authoritative government has basically robbed most families of the notion of, “Can we afford for the mother to be with the children during those crucial nurturing years?” and, instead, “Nope, got to put her to work.”

And if you take the average salary of women in the workforce, you will find that it directly matches the increased amount of money that is going to the government since the 1940s. The two-income has to be the norm and you can’t make any principled decisions.

“Can my wife work outside the home?” Absolutely, she can. Go read the Proverbs 31 woman and there is no doubt of the “work outside the home opportunity for women.”

However, the point is, if I get married and if I have children, do I have an ethical obligation of what a father is supposed to do and what a mother is supposed to do? The consistency of the Christian world and life view says this: The father is responsible to provide in such a way that the mother is free to nurture.

I love that, at the moment of our covenantal baptisms, Tom, the father names the child and the blessing, hands me the child, we place the sign of the covenant, enfolding the child into the covenant and affirming the promises of God, “I will be a God to you and to your children after you,” and then I hand the child to the mother, affirming this primary role of nurturing.

That doesn’t mean the father is not involved, but the father cannot replace the mother. There’s no way. A father’s love and a mother’s love are different.

There was an interesting study one time, Tom, which I found amusing but, yet, troubling at the same time. We spent, literally, millions and millions of dollars on a study and the final verdict was this: Two mature adults in a home is crucial for the well-being of the nurture of the children in that home.

Now, notice how they painfully stayed away from saying, “a father and mother,” just “two mature adults,” in order to accommodate the mythical notion that a same-sex marriage can provide a healthy home.

It cannot and it won’t because that’s one of the reasons that I continue to speak against this fabrication of same-sex marriage, because I do not want to consign the next generation of children to a home in which there is likely not only not a father properly functioning, but you don’t have a mother properly functioning.

A child needs a father and mother and that is exactly what this study and research affirms – that you need both.

By the way, in that same study, they noted another thing: that fathers and mothers, when they discipline, reprove or correct – that is negative or positive – that the mother adopts, instinctively, a different physical posture than the father.

The mother almost always will either stand or sit beside the child and speak to the child, usually, with their arm around them. The father almost always stands in front of the child, eye-to-eye and speaks to the child. That’s what fathers do. Fathers have a corrective style that is related to what a father can provide.

I remember when I was going through a very, very painful reset of a broken arm and I can remember my dad, at the end of the bed, saying to me, “Son, you can do it.” My mother, beside me, encouraging me that I can do it. Both were necessary.

I needed that and, in many times in my life, I have remembered that when I have faced challenging situations and I can still see my father saying, “Son, you can do that,” and I still feel the calmness of my mother right beside me, “Son, I’m with you.”

Those are the things that they provide. That is what Dr. Erica Komisar, this New York psychoanalyst, is affirming, particularly in the opening three years.

It is amazing, most of the ethical commitments of a child and their world and life view are embraced by age 5. Most of their perspectives in life, and how they view life and how they embrace life is affirmed in the opening 3 to 5 years of a child.

We do tutoring and we purposefully send hundreds of our members into urban schools to tutor but we say, “Please deploy them under the age of 8 because that’s when tutoring has its greatest effect.”

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work afterwards, but that’s when it has its greatest effect. These highly impressionable initial years are crucial in the life of a child and the notion that a woman who is the mother is a moveable quantity – that is, she can walk away and it has no effect or she can stay it may or may not have an effect – is absolutely ludicrous.

There is no one who can replace the mother in the life of the child. No one. The woman’s gifts and unique abilities are irreplaceable. Can she work outside the home? Absolutely, but the question is not what can you do, but what should you do?

Therefore, fathers ought to do everything they can, not only to be engaged as a father in bringing your child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but also doing everything you can to make sure that your child has the presence and availability of that indispensable ministry and unique gifting that a mother brings to the task and the opening years are absolutely crucial.

Therefore, I am grateful that she has affirmed it. I am grateful that Dr. Komisar has had the courage – because, believe me, she is being targeted. And I am not surprised that it affirms Biblical truth once again that there is a glorious blessing through a father’s leading love and a mother’s nurturing love in the life of a child.

There is no substitute for them and thank God that he has given us direction as to how to establish not only a healthy marriage – one man, one woman for one life – but healthy families where fathers provide the environment of security and stability and a mother provides the instruction of kindness from her tongue that has lifelong effects at the very initial stages of life in the life of every child that God has entrusted to that family.

Dr. Harry L. Reeder III is the Senior Pastor of Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham.

This podcast was transcribed by Jessica Havin. Jessica is editorial assistant for Yellowhammer News. Jessica has transcribed some of the top podcasts in the country and her work has been featured in a New York Times Bestseller.

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57 mins ago

Alabama watchdog group SPLC to pay anti-extremist UK group in settlement

An American liberal watchdog group apologized and will pay more than $3 million under an agreement announced Monday after labeling a British organization and its founder as anti-Muslim extremists.

The nonprofit Southern Poverty Law Center of Montgomery issued written and video statements saying it was wrong to include the London-based Quilliam and Maajid Nawaz in a “Field Guide to Anti-Muslim Extremists.”

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Law center president Richard Cohen said his organization has done additional research and talked with human rights advocates since releasing the publication in 2016.

“We’ve found that Mr. Nawaz and Quilliam have made valuable and important contributions to public discourse, including by promoting pluralism and condemning both anti-Muslim bigotry and Islamist extremism,” said Cohen’s statement. “Although we may have our differences with some of the positions that Mr. Nawaz and Quilliam have taken, they are most certainly not anti-Muslim extremists.”

An agreement released online by Quilliam shows the Alabama-based law center is paying $3.4 million, which Quilliam says will be used to fight anti-Muslim bigotry and Islamist extremism.

Quilliam had threatened to sue, but its policy director David Toube said in an email the settlement offer came before any suit was filed.

Nawaz was once involved with radical Islamist groups but changed his views and started Quilliam, which describes itself as challenging both Islamist extremism and anti-Muslim bigotry. Nawaz tweeted a video in which he asked the law center to join its cause.

“Too much and for too long … many on the left have been trying to shut down any debate or critique or criticism around Islam especially by Muslims within Muslim communities,” Nawaz said. “Well, this moment should teach us all a lesson and allow us to work together to challenge the triple threat facing the world at the moment and that’s far-right extremism, far-left extremism and, from the heavens above, Islamist extremism.”

The Southern Poverty Law Center is best known for tracking United States-based radical groups including the Ku Klux Klan. Federal tax records show the nonprofit organization reported revenues of $132 million and net assets of $450 million for 2017.

(Associated Press, copyright 2018)

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1 hour ago

Survey: Electric vehicles make sense for Alabama drivers

As many as 50 million Americans are about to flip the switch over to electric automobiles with their next purchase, according to the American Automobile Association. A recent survey conducted by the AAA found that popularity of electric cars is trending upwards. With infrastructure and availability all here, Alabama can lead the charge toward electric vehicles.

In its survey, AAA asked Americans if they were considering electric vehicles for their next car purchase. The survey found that 20 percent of Americans say their next vehicle will be an electric car – up 5 percent from 2017.

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The Alabama Clean Fuels Coalition encourages Alabamians to make the move to an alternative fuel vehicle, such as an electric car. Electric vehicles offer nothing but benefits, from being more cost-efficient due to cheaper fuel to less expensive maintenance to being environmentally friendly.

Alabama’s relationship with Mercedes-Benz could be a factor in the state’s future with electric vehicles, too. The automaker announced in January it would be rolling out an electric version of each of its vehicles by 2022. With Mercedes – and most other automakers – launching more electric options, there have never been more alternative fuel vehicle options than we have today.

The Tuscaloosa County facility is the only Mercedes plant in the United States, and it will play a central role in the production of these electric vehicles. As these electric vehicles begin to be produced by the people of Alabama, the next logical step is for them to begin driving them as well.

There has never been a better time to switch over to electric. It is a common misconception that it is a hassle to charge your electric car, whether that be at home or on the road. Charging at home can be done through a 120-amp power supply, which is the same three-prong outlet that powers your television.

The Alabama Clean Fuels Coalition is determined to make driving an electric vehicle in Alabama comfortable by assisting in getting proper infrastructure in place. Alabama currently has 84 electric charging stations, and a total of 198 charging outlets scattered across the state in almost all major cities.

More and more charging stations will continue to pop up across the state as more electric vehicles hit the streets. Current electric charging stations can be found at convenient locations in public, and some residential areas. The new Tesla charging stations in downtown Birmingham are just one prominent example. Several online sites, such as plugshare.com, provide charger locations.

The Alabama Clean Fuels Coalition serves as the principal coordinating point for clean, alternative fuel and advanced technology vehicle activities in Alabama. The ACFC is part of the national network of nearly 100 Clean Cities coalitions that bring together stakeholders in the public and private sectors to deploy alternative and renewable fuels, idle-reduction measures, fuel economy improvements and emerging technologies.

According to Alabama AAA PR and Marketing Director Clay Ingram, our state is warming up to electric vehicles as the technology and infrastructure begins to develop at a rapid pace.

“We have come a long way in accepting this, in a short number of years,” Ingram said. “We love our vehicles in Alabama, and I think there is a lot of room for (electric vehicles) as the technology continues to develop.”

With an average gas price of $2.91 – its highest cost since 2014. Gas prices are expected to increase over time without any anticipation of dropping. The average American spends $1,400 on gasoline a year, while average electric vehicle charging costs are $540 annually. Unlike gasoline cars, electric vehicles don’t typically require oil changes, fuel filters, spark plug replacements or emission checks. In electric vehicles, even brake pad replacements are rare due to the fact regenerative braking returns energy to the battery.

With all the aforementioned factors in mind, it is no surprise that the AAA estimated a below-average cost of ownership with electric vehicles. Electric cars also are the least expensive when it comes to yearly maintenance.

Since the 1970s, lawmakers in the United States have been putting effort into facilitating the research and growth of electric cars. The urge to reduce carbon emissions has given electric car production a lift. Electric vehicles emit an average of 4,500 pounds of CO2, with gasoline cars emitting more than double that.

This current shift to electric will not only have an environmental impact, but also an economic one. According the U.S. Energy Information Administration, the United States has made progress in importing less oil, but still imports nearly 20 percent of what is consumed. The increasing use of electricity as an alternative fuel will further push the United States toward economic independence from foreign countries.

The benefits to driving an electric car are endless! To learn more about the Alabama Clean Fuels Coalition and advice on purchasing an alternative fuel vehicle, please visit www.alabamacleanfuels.org.

Mark Bentley is the executive director of the Alabama Clean Fuels Coalition.

2 hours ago

The Pauline passage doesn’t address the justice of penalties for breaking laws

Scholars and pundits have made their thoughts well-known on the Trump Administration’s biblical arguments for “zero-tolerence” immigration enforcement.

Here I offer one more targeted to the structure of the argument that Attorney General Jeff Sessions made last Thursday.

For review, here are his words, which have enticed the most responders.

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Sessions shapes up his parameters as “to discuss some concerns raised by our church friends about separation of families.”

He continues: “Illegal entry into the United States is a crime, it should be and must be, if we’re going to have a legal system and any limits whatsoever. People who violate the law of our nation are subject to prosecution. If you violate the law, you subject yourself to prosecution.”

Sessions then invokes St. Paul, whose instructions to the church in Rome he summarizes as to “obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes.”

Here is my primary observation:

The Romans 13 passage is far too broad to address the justness of separating families. St. Paul’s guidance does perhaps provide a defense for the prosecution of illegal immigrants but certainly does not imply that should one break a secular law, any consequence is permissible, simply because a secular authority sanctioned it.

Truly, Paul speaks nothing of the justice of such consequences in this passage. As a result, the only piece of the immigration enforcement puzzle given any measure of justification by St. Paul is the notion that those who have entered illegally have broken a law.

In short, Sessions ventures from making a case for the justness of separating the children from their parents to making a much broader case that laws ought to be applied because God gave secular authority to enlist them.

Sessions’s use of the Pauline passage would not be completely useless for making a broad case for immigration enforcement but considering his starting point, the passage simply does not extend to imply what he implies which is that the result of prosecution, namely the separation of families, is just.

@jeremywbeaman is a contributing writer for Yellowhammer News

2 hours ago

Immigration debate: ‘There is no room for them at the inn’ is a better Bible verse to reference

Americans have been told for decades that we need to have a complete and total separation of religion and government, including ignoring your religious beliefs during policy making when it comes to abortion and gay marriage. But when “children are being ripped away from their parents” at the border, the American media and Democrats have found the Bible to be a useful tool for bashing Christians.

Christian leaders were outraged, Attorney General Jeff Sessions responded by referencing his own Bible verse about following the law, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders agreed. Liberals and their media saw an opportunity, and an MSNBC host started quoting the Bible on-air.

The King James Bible has another verse that we can quote out of context for this immigration debate if we are so inclined:

Luke 2:7: “…there was no room for them in the inn.”

Why this matters:

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If Americans, their politicians, and the media, were serious about this debate it would be about how illegal immigrants impact our society.

We’d talk about the crime some of them bring and the resources that they consume.

We’d talk about the impact on wages and the employment market.

We’d talk about how a person making minimum wage can‘t afford an apartment on their own.

But this isn’t about any of that.

It is about fighting President Donald Trump’s immigration crackdown, and Donald Trump’s presidency in general. They want more immigrants because they view that as the future of their political power.

This isn’t about reason or even morality, it is about emotional manipulation.

TheDaleJackson is a contributing writer to Yellowhammer News and hosts a conservative talk show from 7-11 am weekdays on WVNN

3 hours ago

Alabama inmate recaptured, had escaped hospital through ceiling

Alabama authorities say an inmate who escaped from a hospital has been recaptured.

News outlets report 39-year-old Courtnee Austin was caught after escaping Saturday night. Birmingham police Sgt. Bryan Shelton tells AL.com Austin was bit by a tracking dog inside a crack house and taken into custody Sunday afternoon.

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Jefferson County Chief sheriff’s Deputy Randy Christian says Austin claimed he swallowed a razor blade and was hospitalized June 11.

A hospital staff member had asked that Austin’s restraints be removed so he could shower. A deputy outside the shower heard a bump and saw Austin climbing through the ceiling.

Austin navigated his way out, carjacked someone and fled.

He was arrested May 24 and charged with several offenses including rape and attempted murder. It’s unclear if he has a lawyer.

(Associated Press, copyright 2018)

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