Reeder: It is ‘absolutely ludicrous’ to think a mother’s absence in crucial first 3 years has no effect



 

 

 

 

 

 

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TOM LAMPRECHT:  Harry, I want to take you to a story which our friends over at BreakPoint have also covered. There is a new book called “Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters.”

It’s written by a New York psychoanalyst by the name of Erica Komisar. She has some interesting statistics and some of them are rather alarming, including, she says, the number of kids hospitalized for eating disorders have increased 119 percent in the last decade and she points to the fact that mothers are absent.

DR. REEDER: She also goes into some of the areas of, “behavioral disorders.” She goes into the unbelievable rise of suicide among teenagers. The statistics are startling.

Clearly, from her guild of being a psychoanalyst, she has amassed this analysis that has taken place over decades and she finally has just come out, “Look, I’m just going to tell you the truth. Particularly, the first three years, the mother has to be there. She just has to be there,” with the full realization that, in our culture today, it is unbelievable.

This is my opinion, here at this point – she doesn’t say this – but I believe the tax structure in our government to support a bloated and runaway authoritative government has basically robbed most families of the notion of, “Can we afford for the mother to be with the children during those crucial nurturing years?” and, instead, “Nope, got to put her to work.”

And if you take the average salary of women in the workforce, you will find that it directly matches the increased amount of money that is going to the government since the 1940s. The two-income has to be the norm and you can’t make any principled decisions.

“Can my wife work outside the home?” Absolutely, she can. Go read the Proverbs 31 woman and there is no doubt of the “work outside the home opportunity for women.”

However, the point is, if I get married and if I have children, do I have an ethical obligation of what a father is supposed to do and what a mother is supposed to do? The consistency of the Christian world and life view says this: The father is responsible to provide in such a way that the mother is free to nurture.

I love that, at the moment of our covenantal baptisms, Tom, the father names the child and the blessing, hands me the child, we place the sign of the covenant, enfolding the child into the covenant and affirming the promises of God, “I will be a God to you and to your children after you,” and then I hand the child to the mother, affirming this primary role of nurturing.

That doesn’t mean the father is not involved, but the father cannot replace the mother. There’s no way. A father’s love and a mother’s love are different.

There was an interesting study one time, Tom, which I found amusing but, yet, troubling at the same time. We spent, literally, millions and millions of dollars on a study and the final verdict was this: Two mature adults in a home is crucial for the well-being of the nurture of the children in that home.

Now, notice how they painfully stayed away from saying, “a father and mother,” just “two mature adults,” in order to accommodate the mythical notion that a same-sex marriage can provide a healthy home.

It cannot and it won’t because that’s one of the reasons that I continue to speak against this fabrication of same-sex marriage, because I do not want to consign the next generation of children to a home in which there is likely not only not a father properly functioning, but you don’t have a mother properly functioning.

A child needs a father and mother and that is exactly what this study and research affirms – that you need both.

By the way, in that same study, they noted another thing: that fathers and mothers, when they discipline, reprove or correct – that is negative or positive – that the mother adopts, instinctively, a different physical posture than the father.

The mother almost always will either stand or sit beside the child and speak to the child, usually, with their arm around them. The father almost always stands in front of the child, eye-to-eye and speaks to the child. That’s what fathers do. Fathers have a corrective style that is related to what a father can provide.

I remember when I was going through a very, very painful reset of a broken arm and I can remember my dad, at the end of the bed, saying to me, “Son, you can do it.” My mother, beside me, encouraging me that I can do it. Both were necessary.

I needed that and, in many times in my life, I have remembered that when I have faced challenging situations and I can still see my father saying, “Son, you can do that,” and I still feel the calmness of my mother right beside me, “Son, I’m with you.”

Those are the things that they provide. That is what Dr. Erica Komisar, this New York psychoanalyst, is affirming, particularly in the opening three years.

It is amazing, most of the ethical commitments of a child and their world and life view are embraced by age 5. Most of their perspectives in life, and how they view life and how they embrace life is affirmed in the opening 3 to 5 years of a child.

We do tutoring and we purposefully send hundreds of our members into urban schools to tutor but we say, “Please deploy them under the age of 8 because that’s when tutoring has its greatest effect.”

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work afterwards, but that’s when it has its greatest effect. These highly impressionable initial years are crucial in the life of a child and the notion that a woman who is the mother is a moveable quantity – that is, she can walk away and it has no effect or she can stay it may or may not have an effect – is absolutely ludicrous.

There is no one who can replace the mother in the life of the child. No one. The woman’s gifts and unique abilities are irreplaceable. Can she work outside the home? Absolutely, but the question is not what can you do, but what should you do?

Therefore, fathers ought to do everything they can, not only to be engaged as a father in bringing your child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but also doing everything you can to make sure that your child has the presence and availability of that indispensable ministry and unique gifting that a mother brings to the task and the opening years are absolutely crucial.

Therefore, I am grateful that she has affirmed it. I am grateful that Dr. Komisar has had the courage – because, believe me, she is being targeted. And I am not surprised that it affirms Biblical truth once again that there is a glorious blessing through a father’s leading love and a mother’s nurturing love in the life of a child.

There is no substitute for them and thank God that he has given us direction as to how to establish not only a healthy marriage – one man, one woman for one life – but healthy families where fathers provide the environment of security and stability and a mother provides the instruction of kindness from her tongue that has lifelong effects at the very initial stages of life in the life of every child that God has entrusted to that family.

Dr. Harry L. Reeder III is the Senior Pastor of Briarwood Presbyterian Church in Birmingham.

This podcast was transcribed by Jessica Havin. Jessica is editorial assistant for Yellowhammer News. Jessica has transcribed some of the top podcasts in the country and her work has been featured in a New York Times Bestseller.

6 hours ago

Alabama lineworker training programs graduate spring classes

Bishop StateLawson State and Jefferson State community colleges are investing in the future by offering technical training programs to prepare students for careers in the skilled trades.

Through this innovative partnership, students can learn the fundamentals of electricity as well as the math and science knowledge needed to work on power lines. In addition to classroom instruction, students receive hands-on practice in an outdoor learning laboratory, honing their new skills so they are job-ready upon graduation.

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This spring, 39 students successfully completed lineworker training programs in Birmingham and Mobile.

As part of its ongoing commitment to workforce development, Alabama Power Company partners with these colleges to offer lineworker training programs.

“We are excited to partner with these outstanding colleges and provide opportunities for Alabamians to train for great, safe careers as lineworkers,” said Jeff Peoples, Alabama Power executive vice president of Customer and Employee Services. “Helping ensure our state’s workforce is well-represented and prepared to succeed today and in the economy of the future is an important way we seek to elevate Alabama.”

Post-graduation response has been favorable from hiring companies.

“Alabama Power and other utility partners have been extremely impressed with the quality of hires from these programs,” said Tom McNeal, Alabama Power Workforce Development Program manager. “I encourage utility companies and contractors seeking quality candidates and students interested in applying for the programs to contact the school in their area.”

Potential students who want to apply or learn more about the program should contact:

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)

10 hours ago

Smiths Station celebrates two decades through new city clock

This June, Smiths Station will mark 20 years of incorporation, and the city is planning to celebrate the past, present and future in the most momentous way. City officials led by Mayor F.L. “Bubba” Copeland unveiled a city clock that will honor history while looking to the future.

Nestled between Phenix City and Columbus, Georgia, Smiths Station is one of the three fastest-growing cities in Alabama, according to state officials. Incorporated in 2001, the Smiths Station community was founded in the early 1700s. It had an estimated population of 5,345 people in 2020.

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Copeland, the second mayor in city history, offered appreciation to the first administration in setting standards for Smiths Station’s successful 20-year history as a city.

“Thanks to the previous administration, former Mayor LaFaye Dellinger and the City Council that laid the groundwork, it was easy for us to build on that foundation, build the roof and with each passing administration, the building will get fancier and fancier,” he said.

Copeland went on to say, “the clock represents time set upon us and what we do in life.”

He said the city and community deserve the landmark and all that it signifies.

Melissa Gauntt, the daughter of Dellinger, expressed her gratitude to the foundation. She said of her mother’s work: “I know the time and commitment that she gave to the city in her 16 years as the mayor and even before becoming mayor in leading the efforts to incorporate the city. “It is truly befitting that this beautiful clock be representative of these deeds and is a striking addition to the front of City Hall.”

The clock is in downtown Smiths Station at 2336 Lee County Road 430. For more information about the city of Smiths Station, visit www.smithsstational.gov.

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)

12 hours ago

Hyundai lending cutting-edge hydrogen fuel cell SUV to Alabama State University

Hyundai Motor Manufacturing Alabama (HMMA) will lend one of the world’s first hydrogen fuel cell sport utility vehicles, the Hyundai NEXO, to Alabama State University for an extended evaluation period.

Robert Burns, Hyundai’s vice president of Human Resources and Administration, made the announcement at a news conference April 6 joined by ASU President Quinton Ross in front of the ASU Lockhart Gym.

“This is truly a great time to be a Hornet as we celebrate the continuing partnership between Hyundai and Alabama State University,” Ross said. “Several weeks ago, Hyundai and ASU came together as the university hosted a COVID-19 vaccination clinic for the employees of Hyundai, and today we witness ASU partnering with Hyundai again as it loans us its high-technology vehicle, the NEXO, which will allow us to expose our STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) students to this first-of-a-kind vehicle.”

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The Hyundai NEXO is the first hydrogen fuel cell SUV available for commercial sale in the world. It uses hydrogen to produce electricity for the vehicle’s electric power train and its only emission is water vapor. The Hyundai NEXO is available for sale only in California. Although the NEXO is not assembled at the Montgomery plant, HMMA has two Hyundai NEXOs that are part of a ride and drive program.

“The groundbreaking spirit behind the NEXO mirrors our own mission to be an innovative manufacturer of current and future mobility solutions,” Burns said. “The partnership between ASU and Hyundai began a few weeks ago with the COVID-19 vaccine clinic. The system ASU had in place was smooth, efficient and it worked well. Today, we extend that partnership with the evaluation of the Hyundai NEXO by the university. We are excited again to be working with Alabama State University.”

ASU hosted the first of two COVID-19 vaccination clinics for Hyundai employees March 26-27. ASU Health Center personnel will administer the vaccine’s second doses to them April 16-17.

“Our partnership between ASU and Hyundai has been smooth and wonderful,” said Dr. Joyce Loyd-Davis, senior director of ASU’s Health Services. “Today’s event and our April COVID-19 vaccine’s second-round injections to Hyundai’s employees is a great example of ASU and Hyundai’s relationship jelling and extending into the future.”

Montgomery County District Judge Tiffany McCord, an ASU trustee, thanked Hyundai for being a team partner with ASU. “This is yet another positive example of President Ross putting his vision of ‘CommUniversity’ into action, which is good for both Hyundai and ASU,” McCord said.

She was joined at the news conference podium by fellow trustee Delbert Madison. “Thanks to the Hyundai family, which is a major contributor to our community,” he said. “When Hyundai shows up, it shows out.”

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)

13 hours ago

Auburn University’s Department of Animal Sciences partners with Winpak to extend shelf life of food

Auburn University’s College of Agriculture and its Department of Animal Sciences are teaming up with global packaging manufacturer and distributor Winpak to focus on research to extend the shelf life of meat and food products.

The food product packaging research began in October 2020.

“We are grateful and excited for the unique learning opportunities that will come from utilizing a collaborative partnership,” said associate professor Jason Sawyer. “Through this partnership, Winpak and Auburn University will aid their shelf life research through the placement of a VarioVac Rollstock Packaging Machine provided by Winpak.”

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Collaborating with Winpak and working with industry leaders will not only enhance and contribute to diverse research experiences within the graduate program, but will provide undergraduate students with real-world meat and food packaging involvement, Sawyer said.

“We anticipate this project will work as the foundation to a significant relationship with Winpak, as Auburn University works in tandem with company experts to produce cutting-edge protein packaging and shelf-life solutions,” he said.

The Auburn University meat science research team goal is to provide more product value and reduce markdowns and waste at the retail counter.

Research evaluating alternative packaging of protein products can provide greater knowledge about creating safer products for consumers as a result of less microbial growth.

“Winpak is excited to partner with Auburn University on this unique opportunity,” said Tom Bonner, protein market director at Winpak and an Auburn alumnus. “Developing packaging concepts is an area where Winpak feels Auburn’s Lambert-Powell Meat Laboratory can add valuable knowledge and insight.”

Leaders in the protein industry are looking for innovative and sustainable solutions to the ever-changing demand for new packaging concepts, Bonner said.

“As Winpak continues to develop sustainable packages for the protein market, we hope this partnership will attract these industry leaders to the Lambert-Powell Meat Laboratory to conduct packaging trials and ideation sessions,” he said.

The packaging equipment at Auburn will allow for student interactions with industry leaders. The goal will be to expose students early in their pursuit of career options and facilitate better-informed students entering the workforce. The protein industry will need strong, innovative leaders to develop creative ideas to keep up with the demand for meat proteins.

“Supporting our customers and upcoming food manufacturing leaders is something we take very seriously at Winpak,” Bonner said. “We anticipate that our new collaborative relationship with Auburn University will be the spark to many unique and interesting ideas for the protein industry.”

This story originally appeared on Auburn University’s website.

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)

14 hours ago

Nearly $100 million targeted for wildlife injured by 2010 oil spill in Gulf of Mexico

The Deepwater Horizon Regionwide Trustee Implementation Group, which includes trustee representatives from four federal agencies and the five Gulf Coast states, is seeking public input on the first post-settlement draft restoration plan.

The regional approach exemplifies collaboration and coordination among the trustees by restoring living coastal and marine resources that migrate and live in wide geographic ranges, as well as linking projects across jurisdictions.

The plan proposes $99.6 million for 11 restoration projects across all five states bordering the Gulf of Mexico, and specific locations in Mexico and on the Atlantic coast of Florida. Comments will be accepted through May 6. The trustees are hosting two public webinars with open houses for questions and answers on April 15.

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The draft restoration plan evaluates projects that would help restore living coastal and marine resources injured by the Deepwater Horizon oil spill through a portfolio of 11 projects:

  • Four projects ($18.6 million) to help restore sea turtles.
  • Three projects ($7.2 million) to help restore marine mammals.
  • One project ($35.8 million) to help restore and increase the resilience of oyster reefs.
  • Two projects ($31 million) to help restore birds.
  • One project ($7 million) to help restore both sea turtles and birds.

The public is encouraged to review and comment on the draft plan through May 6 by submitting comments online, by mail or during the virtual public meetings.

Information on how to submit your comments are at the latest Regionwide Restoration Area update.

During the April 15 virtual meetings, trustees will present the draft plan and take public comments. Register and learn more about the webinars and interactive open houses.

The draft plan and more information about projects, as well as fact sheets, are posted on the Gulf Spill Restoration website.

(Courtesy of Alabama NewsCenter)