(Video above: Andy Andrews explains why you should forgive people who’ve wronged you, even when they aren’t sorry)
“For a long time I thought forgiveness was like knighthood,” jokes New York Times bestselling author and Alabama native Andy Andrews, “something I would bestow on some lucky person who came crying and begging me to forgive them, and maybe I would, if I felt like it.”
That approach to the concept of forgiveness, Mr. Andrews says, has led to many sleepless nights.
“You’re laying in bed at night and can’t sleep and that bozo is laying down the street asleep, unaware that you’re even bent out of shape. They’re sleeping peacefully. Who’s life is it ruining? Well, it’s not ruining there’s.”
And in particularly troubling cases, Mr. Andrews says unwillingness to forgive can lead to an even more harmful issue — bitterness.
“People can sense bitterness in other people,” he explains. “And let me tell you something, bitterness can keep you from getting promoted. Bitterness can keep you from opportunities, it will keep you from relationships, it will keep you from leadership opportunities. Bitterness is a tough one to overcome. And yet it can be overcome, because forgiveness is a decision; it’s not an emotion. We treat it like an emotion because, you know, it seems to drag us around like a dog on a leash. But when you decide to forgive, your emotions will follow along behind a good decision.”
Mr. Andrews says many people respond to this advice by saying “But they’re just going to get away with it!”
“I didn’t say anyone was going to get away with anything,” he says in response. “You see, forgiveness is about us. Trust is about them. Forgiveness is about us putting the past away. The future is about them. Do we forgive somebody who steals from us? Sure. Do we continue to do business with them? Probably not. Do we forgive somebody who lies to us? Yes. Do we continue to believe everything they say? No. The reason you forgive somebody who’s never going to be sorry [is not for them], it’s for you.”
Check out Mr. Andrews discussing forgiveness in the video above.
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