Steve Flowers: ‘Krazy Kristi’ Noem

As the Republican National Convention unfolds this week, you will see all the GOP stars on stage and featured all week, especially on Fox News.

You will probably not see one of the former potential rising political show horses featured or interviewed. South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem may be there but will be shunned and snubbed by the GOP faithful and media. She has been relegated to the political graveyard, now and forever. She is now a comedic laughingstock and punchline in political circles.

This time, six months ago, the spectacularly attractive South Dakotan was actually being considered to be Donald Trump’s running mate. Indeed, our Senior Senator Tommy “Coach” Tuberville, who has become one of Trump’s closest allies and confidantes, recently shared with me that while he and Trump were golfing at Mar-a-Lago earlier this year, Trump referred to Noem often and inferred that she was being considered as his running mate.

Noem was aspiring to be on the national stage. She was the keynote speaker at the Alabama GOP Winter Dinner in recent years. About a year ago, she began running ads on Fox News promoting South Dakota, which primarily featured her in jeans and a hard hat. Ostensibly, these ads were to attract business to the small, obscure, sparsely populated, western state. They were really designed to promote her as the Governor of South Dakota and to help build her name identification with an eye towards national politics.

As is the case with aspiring governors and senators, who begin being touted as potential presidential aspirants, they come out with a book. Governor Kristi Noem was relatively unknown except in small Republican circles. However, her book made her nationally and even internationally known.

For you see, this western girl told the whole world that she took her pet dog out to a gravel pit and shot it dead and left it there just because she did not like it anymore. She more than likely did not write the book, a ghost writer did. However, she had to have read the book, and approved it, and given the writer that gruesome aspect of her life. A chapter was devoted to it. 

My first thought was, is this for real? Then, what kind of aspiring political person would tell the world this in not only an interview, but in her own book? Her so-called biography. What kind of stupid political adviser would allow that to go into a book? What kind of publisher would allow that passage and think that the book would be bought and make any money?

Bless her heart, Kristi Noem was set to promote the book, and the book was leaked, and the passage posted prior to her appearances. The greeting was so savage and brutal from all news sources, even Fox, that within a day of total ridicule and abject obvious hatred toward her, she and her advisers tucked their tails and hightailed it back to South Dakota. She will probably never be heard from again. 

If Noem ever goes anywhere to a political or social event, the rest of her life she will be met with a laugh or sneer as a joke. She will forever be known as the woman dog killer. She will be the brunt of jokes for life. She is through, politically, and to think she did it to herself. She not only shot her dog, she also shot herself in the foot with the same bullet. In fact, she did not shoot herself in the foot, she shot herself in the head, politically. Kristi Noem committed political suicide.

I have been scratching my head for the last three months since Noem’s unbelievable revelation, trying to think of another example of overt political suicide in my lifetime. I cannot remember anything similar.

About this same time, it occurred to me that every older, white Republican I came in touch with had a dog that they loved and adored. Senator Richard Shelby has a new dog named Tallulah. Governor Kay Ivey has a beloved dog named Missy. My older brother, Scott, just lost his 13-year-old collie Jessie at about this time. He is still in mourning. 

The same week as Kristi Noem’s horror story, ironically, I’m watching Fox News and Kristi’s South Dakota ad is sandwiched between an ad for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and gourmet dog food, which older Republicans are obviously buying for their dogs. They are probably not buying Kristi Noem’s book that tells of her adventures of killing her dog in a gravel pit.

In political circles, she will be forever known as “Krazy Kristi” Noem.

See you next week.

Steve Flowers is Alabama’s leading political columnist. His weekly column appears in over 60 Alabama newspapers. He served 16 years in the state legislature. Steve may be reached at [email protected].