By Karim Shamsi-Basha
Having been a huge fan of The Andy Griffith Show for many years, I did not know what to expect waiting for Andy Woods. The Barney Fife impersonator was meeting me at the Strand diner along the quaint Main Street in Fort Payne. I was expecting a fellow who had the looks or the character of the mythical Mayberry deputy with one bullet in his pocket.
When he walked in, I gasped.
Some people may look like others, some sound like others, and some have the mannerisms of others. When Barney Fife … I mean Andy Woods … walked into the Strand, everyone ran and took pictures with their phones. Some had disbelief on their faces, some had huge eyes and some were laughing hysterically.
Andy Woods not only looks like, sounds like and acts like Barney Fife as he was portrayed by actor Don Knotts, but he lives and works as Barney Fife. He even has the car, the suit, the gun and the one bullet.
“Barney was a nickname I got when I was a little kid, back when the show was really big,” Woods said. “Older kids on the school bus used to call me Barney. It eventually stuck so all the kids in school would call me Barney.”
We were chatting at the front counter of the Strand. I turned to get my camera ready when I heard, “Meee Theyyy, Meee Theyyy, Meee Theyyy … ” I looked at the television to make sure there wasn’t a Barney practicing his singing. It was set on a news channel. Woods was behind me pulling on his throat and singing like Barney did in the fan-favorite choir episode.
Woods acts like Barney on the street and fusses at people for parking illegally or for jaywalking. He is a highly sought-after impersonator who took on the role 12 years ago.
“A lot of people started calling me and eventually offered to pay. I began doing some jobs here and there,” Woods said. “Things evolved and I had the opportunity to do two commercials with George Lindsey, who played the part of Goober on the show. It was on TV and it really exploded from there.”
As we walked along Main Street in Fort Payne, Woods ambled over to the Mayberry sheriff’s car he owns, looked at me with a “Barney” face, then took the lone bullet out of his pocket and stuck it in his gun. A man parked his motorcycle nearby and looked at Woods, did a double take, then smiled and waved as he walked away.
“It’s a dangerous world out there,” Woods said, squashing his lips like Barney. He now works every weekend in the spring and fall impersonating the famous TV deputy, out to remedy the high crime rate in the sleepy Southern town of Mayberry.
I asked Woods what his favorite episode was. “The Manhunt,” “Mayberry Goes Hollywood” and “Barney Gets His Man” were a few.
“It’s hard to pick any, you know, with so many I’ve done that were, well, let’s just say they were tops,” Woods said, winking. When I insisted, he admitted he does have a special one.
“All my favorite episodes are with Barney, obviously, but specifically the one where Barney does the Preamble of the Constitution. I think that’s one of the most hilarious scenes in a TV show,” Woods said.
I asked Woods to do the scene, and he began just like in the episode.
“Give me the first word, that’s all I need,” Woods said, shaking his head.
“We,” I replied.
“Weeeeee….we….weeeeeeee….weee…” Woods kept repeating, then looked at me with Fife’s big eyes.
“The,” I replied.
“We the,” he said… then went on with the hilarious scene in which Barney Fife pretends he knows the Preamble, without having any idea what the words are.
Next time you are in Fort Payne, stop by the Strand diner and ask about Barney, but please make sure you park legally. You do not want to get arrested by none other than Barney Fife and thrown in that two-cell jail in the tiny town of Mayberry.
He does have a bullet, you know?
